


Clearest blue

by AndalusianSunshine



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Inspired by Real Events, Light Angst, M/M, Serard is the main ship here of course, and how this whole soulmate thing is supposed to work, basically just Sergio trying to figure out what's going on in his life, eventual Serard, i have no idea how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:22:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23157766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndalusianSunshine/pseuds/AndalusianSunshine
Summary: In a world where the government finds your soulmate for you, Sergio has his life all figured out. His best friend is his soulmate and he’s at the beginning of a very promising career in football. So why does it feel like there's something missing in his life? And why does he keep dreaming of the same pair of blue eyes?
Relationships: Gerard Piqué/Sergio Ramos, Jesús Navas/Sergio Ramos
Comments: 13
Kudos: 83





	Clearest blue

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Serard Day!
> 
> I started this fic over 2 years ago. I'm not quite sure anymore how i got the idea, how Jesus Navas ended up in this or if this even makes sense anymore. I hope you'll still enjoy reading this :)
> 
> Title borrowed from _Clearest blue_ by Chvrches

For as long as he can remember, Sergio has dreamt of blue eyes. Every night they would visit him as soon as he drifted off, crystal clear and ocean deep, always filling him with a sense of comfort and warmth, the only constant in his life as he grows older and no matter how much things changed, those eyes always stayed the same.

So when he finds out, on the morning of his 18th birthday, that his best friend Jesús is his soulmate, it doesn’t come as much of a surprise. After all they’ve been inseparable ever since they were old enough to kick a football around.

He barely manages to keep the news to himself for the rest of the day, bubbling with happiness as he throws himself into the final preparations for his party.

It takes an eternity until he finally gets Jesús alone, pulling him into a dark corner away from prying eyes and he can’t help the happy grin as he tells Jesús the news, can’t help the flutter of his heart as a bright smile spreads across Jesús’ face when he leans in to kiss him. 

He feels inexplicable shy when their lips meet for the first time, but Jesús’ lips are soft and gentle and Sergio thinks he could easily get used to this as their arms wrap around each other and they melt into the kiss.

They move into a small apartment in Sevilla shortly after, excited about their new freedom, with freshly signed first team contracts and their careers shining brighter than ever, and Sergio is sure he’s never felt happier. 

It’s only when he lies awake at night, staring at the ceiling with wide open eyes and unable to sleep that he wonders if that’s all there is to having a soulmate. Being with Jesús is nice. It’s pleasant and comfortable, easier than he ever expected, but deep down he always thought there would be more to it, some magical spark whenever their eyes met, their hands or lips touched, that he’d feel emotions so big his heart would be bursting with them, like in all those movies he used to watch with his mother. But maybe it’s just a naive fantasy, he thinks, maybe it’s just not supposed to be like that for him. 

He tries not to feel too disappointed.

*

The offer comes on a regular Tuesday morning. He’s halfway through his second bowl of cereal when his agent calls, informing him about Real Madrid’s interest.

The first person he calls is his brother, talking a mile a minute as he excitedly tells him that the one thing he’s dreamt of his entire life has finally come true.

He doesn’t even think of Jesús until René asks about his reaction.

Plagued with guilt he picks up Jesús’ favorite food on the way home, even goes through the trouble of setting the table with proper plates.

“Real Madrid wants to sign me,” he says the minute they sit down, because he’s never been particularly good with easing into things. And he expects screaming and yelling, even tears, but Jesús only nods in understanding and turns back to his food.

“When are you leaving?” he asks calmly.

“They want me to be there tomorrow.”

Jesús nods. “We better start packing then.”

“You really don’t mind me leaving?” Sergio asks later when they’re folding the last of his shirts, his suitcase already filled to the brim. “I could stay, you know… if that’s what you want.” They’ve always dreamed of making it big, of winning trophies together, but they both know this is an opportunity too good to pass up on. “Or you could just come with me.”

Jesús looks up and there’s a small smile playing on his lips, but his eyes are filled with sadness. “You know i won’t leave Sevilla and I could never keep you from living your dreams.”

Sergio’s sure he’s never loved him more than in this very moment. “I’ll come home as often as i can,” he promises and pulls Jesús into his arms.

*

Sergio loves Madrid, loves the bustle of the city and all the new people he meets, loves his big new house and his giant paycheck, all the shiny new things he can buy with it. 

He throws himself into the preparations for the season with a single-minded focussed, determined to make a name for himself in the star-studded lineup of his new club.

He works himself into the ground each day, twice as hard as everyone else on the team, because he’s 19 and he has something to prove, because there’s something strangely satisfying about the bone-deep exhaustion he feels every night when he falls into bed. 

He still dreams of the same blue eyes, calls Jesús every morning and goes home to Sevilla as often as his schedule allows and despite the distance their relationship flourishes. 

And it’s all more than worth it when he finally earns his starting spot after just a few months, when he wins his first trophy two years later and he’s never felt happier than under the twinkling lights of the Bernabeu.

*

Sergio lets his fingers run through the soft grass, a happy grin on his face as he watches his teammates practice free kicks and with the sun shining warmly into his face, there really isn’t any place in the world he’d rather be and even after three years it still feels surreal that somehow against all odds his biggest dream became reality.

“You look awfully cheerful today,” a playful voice suddenly says right next to his ear and he jumps a little, his grin going even wider when he looks up to find Guti standing over him. 

"What's up, old man?" Sergio grins, the expected kick to his shin following shortly after, but it's filled with the same kind of friendly affection Guti has shown him from the very beginning.

“Just wanted to see how you were doing?” Guti lets himself sink into the grass next to Sergio, both of them quietly watching their teammates for a while.

“I’m good,” Sergio answers eventually, his smile lazy and content, the warmth of the sun making his skin tingle pleasantly.

“Good,” Guti says with a smile, face tilted towards Sergio. “How are things with Jesús?” 

“Fine,” Sergio picks at the grass by his side, already knows where the conversation is going to go. It’s not the first time he’s had to face that particular question. He asks anyway. “Why?”

Guti shrugs. “Just wondering. Still no plans for him to move to Madrid?”

“He’s happy in Sevilla,” Sergio fiddles with his shoe laces. “He’s got a career there and he gets terribly homesick.”

Guti nods. “It’s just unusual for soulmates to be apart for such a long time. Most people don’t even last a month. Don’t you miss him?”

“I do,” Sergio smiles softly and he really does, but it’s just not that bone-deep ache that won’t let him focus on anything else, that desperate need to be united again that most people feel when they’re away from their soulmate for too long.

Their relationship has always been different and he’s finally made his peace with it. 

*  
 _February 2009_

For Sergio there’s nothing more special than playing for the national team, even more so, when they’re playing in Sevilla. And not just because it gives him the chance to spend time with Jesús, but because no matter how much he loves Madrid, Sevilla will always be his home.

He’s almost bouncing with happiness as they step off the plane, the sun pleasantly warm on his skin, even in the midst of February and he can’t wait to get back on the pitch of the Pizjuan, wearing the colors of his country and nothing could possibly dampen his spirits, not even the newest addition to the team.

They run into each other for the first time just before training. Sergio is in the middle of tying his shoe laces when a large frame suddenly blocks out all light.

“Do you mind,” he says irritatedly and looks up with a frown and the first thing he notices is how freakishly tall the other guy is. He has to crane his neck to get a good look at him.

“I’m Gerard,” the guy says, holding out his hand and Sergio grasps it hesitantly, not at all expecting the tingling sensation that shoots up his arm and lingers long after they’ve pulled apart again.

“I know,” Sergio answers a little dumbly and he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from Gerard’s face, from the full lips and the sharp line of his nose, from the impossibly blue eyes sparkling down at him. “I’m Sergio.”

“Nice to meet you, Sergio,” Gerard studies him for a few long moments. “Do you know where they keep the tape around here?” 

Sergio stares at him dazedly and it feels like he’s drowning in Gerard’s eyes.

“You okay?” Gerard’s expression has turned into a questioning frown and Sergio finally manages to shake out of his daze.

He nods towards the corner, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. “Over there,” he mumbles.

“Thanks,” Gerard disappears again and Sergio desperately tries to get a grip on himself, to get his heartbeat back under control and the image of those eyes out of his mind.

*

It doesn’t get easier, being around Gerard. No matter how hard he tries, no matter how many international breaks they spend together, eating, laughing and playing football together, he still feels as unsettled by his presence as on that very first day when they met.

But it’s even worse after clasicos, when they’re all so focussed on figuring out if the fierce club rivalry did any lasting damage to their fragile friendships that suddenly every little action becomes something significant and Sergio isn’t any different from the rest. Only able to breathe freely again after Andres greets him with a warm hug and Carles pats him on the back before training and yet he still spends most of their practice match staring at the back of Gerard’s head wondering if there’ll be another silly prank waiting for him in the dressing room or if the uneasy silence between them means Gerard is still mad over what happened a month ago. And maybe it isn’t particularly rational to look forward to something that’s left his favorite shirt a disturbing shade of green and his socks filled with itching powder, but it’s almost something of a ritual between them now, something they can bond over even if they’ve never talked much.

“Watch out,” it’s Iker’s voice that pulls him out of his thoughts and his head snaps up immediately, but it’s still too late when he goes down for the tackle and instead of pushing the ball away his foot connects with Andres shin.

He scrambles to his feet, worriedly checking on Andres, but before he even has a chance to apologize Gerard grabs him by the collar. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he yells, glaring angrily at Sergio.

“It didn’t mean to. I’m sorry,” Sergio offers weakly, watching with some relief how Andres is already back on his feet, signaling everyone that he’s fine, but Gerard isn’t to be deterred, his hold becoming even tighter, his anger even more palpable.

“Do you always have to be this reckless?” he sneers. “This isn’t el clasico, fucking learn how to behave,” he let’s go so abruptly that Sergio almost crumples to the ground, walks away without looking back once and Sergio hates that he can’t even properly get mad at him, when more than anything he just wants Gerard to like him. 

*

_June 2010_

“What’s up with you and Gerard?” Jesús asks one night just after they’ve gotten into bed. They’ve just made it to the next round of the World Cup and the whole camp is buzzing with excitement, but Sergio feels weirdly restless, like there is something itching under his skin that he can’t quite get a hold of.

“Nothing,” Sergio frowns and rolls onto his side, pulls Jesús against his chest and tucks his cold feet between his legs. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Jesús snuggles closer into his arms. “You’ve been acting weird around him ever since we got to South Africa.”

“I haven’t.”

“You so have,” Jesús laughs softly. “You get all stuttery and nervous when he’s around. It’s so unlike you.”

“Only because we don’t get along,” Sergio sighs. “He’s weird.”

Jesús turns around in his arms then and studies him intently. “You get along with everyone. Why do you dislike him so much?”

Sergio doesn’t really have an answer to that. There’s just something about Gerard that unsettles him, something that feels too dangerous to explore more closely. “Why is it so damn cold here?” he grumbles instead, rubs his feet against Jesús’ shins, but no matter how hard he tries he just can’t seem to get warm.

“You’re always cold,” Jesús laughs and turns off the light. “Just use another blanket.”

*

_Spring 2012_

It doesn’t come as a complete surprise when Jesús tells him one morning that he won’t be joining the national team for the Euros. The signs had been there for months, it’s more that he didn’t want to see them.

“You’ll be fine,” Jesús tells him as they linger at Sergio’s front door. A tight hug and a drawn-out kiss before Sergio is on his way, whole heartedly believing him while he drives through the busy streets of Madrid.

That is until they hand out the room assignments and he finds himself sharing a room with Gerard for the entirety of the tournament.

His palms are sweaty as he fumbles with the keycard to his - their room and of course Gerard is already there when he stumbles inside, casually sitting on the bed and watching him struggle with his heavy bag.

"i hope you don't mind that i took the side closer to the window?" he smirks at him and because Sergio is too distracted by Gerard's stupid grin and the fact that there is only one bed in the room, he runs straight into the bedframe, pain shooting up his leg and his cheeks turning crimson.

“It’s fine,” he stammers, looking anywhere but at Gerard and God why does he always have to make such a fool of himself when the other is around? He curses under his breath and lets his bag drop on the floor, sits down on the edge of the bed to rub at his aching shin.

“Are you always this weird?” Gerard laughs and Sergio hates how his blue eyes are sparkling in the soft evening light, how his gaze seems to be piercing right through him.

“I’m not weird,” he says indignantly. “Why do you even dislike me this much?”

“What?” Gerard’s brows furrow in confusion. “You’ve barely ever spoken more than two words to me. How the hell am i supposed to dislike you when i don’t even know you?”

“I just,” Sergio shrugs and he suddenly feels so so confused. “This doesn’t make any sense. All you ever did was try to annoy me.”

“You mean the pranks?” Gerard chuckles. “I only did those because i thought you enjoyed them. You were the only one who ever retaliated and i like the challenge.”

“Oh.”

“Listen,” Gerard’s expression softens. “Let’s just forget about all of this and start over? We should really try to get along, if only for the sake of the team.”

“I’d like that,” Sergio nods and maybe, he thinks, one day they might even manage to become something akin to friends.

*

“So why do you never talk about your soulmate?” Sergio asks one night, when they’re lying in bed and unable to sleep because curfew is ridiculously early and neither of them is particularly tired.

“Because i don’t have one,” Gerard answers and Sergio doesn’t miss the odd tinge in his voice.

He rolls onto his side and stares at Gerard, hyper-aware of how close they suddenly are, of the heat radiating off of the other’s body. “Why not?” 

Gerard sighs. “She died before i could ever meet her. Got the letter on my 18th birthday.”

Sergio sees the pain flash in Gerard’s eyes and wishes he had never asked. “I’m sorry.”

*

Against all odds they manage to win the trophy again and even after winning so much, it still feels just as special as the first time.

It’s almost morning when Sergio finally stumbles back to their room, giddy with joy and more than a little tipsy.

“I thought you’d never make it back,” Gerard grins, looking up from where he’s lounging on the bed, idly flipping through the channels.

“Do you even understand any of this?” Sergio slurs teasingly and tumbles onto the bed, precariously close to Gerard.

“Not one bit,” Gerard laughs and when Sergio blinks up at him their face are only inches apart.

His nostrils flare and he can’t seem to tear his gaze away from the sparkle in Gerard’s blue eyes, his heart tripping nervously in his chest. He licks his lips slowly and before he knows what he’s doing, he’s lurching forward and covering Gerard’s mouth with his own.

He gasps in surprise when Gerard returns the kiss without hesitation, a violent shiver racing down his spine as he feels Gerard’s tongue slip in between his parted lips and it feels so good he doesn’t ever want ot stop, never wants to let go of Gerard ever. He threads his hands into Gerard’s hair and pulls him closer as he deepens the kiss and he can’t help the needy moan that spills brokenly into the kiss. 

It’s only when he feels Gerard’s much larger frame press into his body that his eyes fly open in shock, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach as realization of what he just did dawns on him.

“Gerard, stop,” he pushes frantically at Gerard’s chest, trying to put as much space between them as possible. “I can’t do this.”

“You started it,” Gerard snaps, his expression caught somewhere between hurt and anger.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Sergio says helplessly, wishes his lips wouldn’t still tingle so pleasantly from the kiss they just shared. “I don’t cheat. I have a soulmate. I should have never…,” he trails off and he can’t even look at Gerard. 

“Don’t pretend that you didn’t enjoy it,” Gerard snaps, his voice laced with pain.

Sergio makes a choked noise and scrambles out of bed, stumbles around the room in search of his phone. “I better go. I’m gonna sleep at Iker’s tonight,” he rushes out the door before he can change his mind, before he gets back into bed with Gerard and does something he’ll never be able to take back.

*

Sergio doesn’t just dream of blue eyes anymore. He dreams of Gerard’s smile and his naked body, of what it would feel like to be pressed against him, no barriers in between. More then once he wakes up sticky and panting, sneaks out of bed because the shame won’t let him go back to sleep.

He never tells Jesús why he suddenly sleeps on the sofa most nights. Jesús never asks and he can’t decide if he should be relieved or offended by it.

Eventually the new season starts and Sergio is as busy as ever, but he makes more of an effort now, goes back home more often to spend time with his soulmate. But no matter how hard he tries things just aren’t the same anymore. Where there used to be easy comradery and comfort, their routine suddenly feels stale and in place a restlessness takes hold of him that he just can’t seem to shake and at the end of the day he can’t help but wonder if this is all he’s going to have for the rest of his life.

It takes him until Christmas to gather enough courage to ask his mother about it.

“Honey, it’s because you spend too much time apart,” she says without even looking up from stirring the sauce. “It’s not normal. You need to stop being so focused on your career or it’s going to tear you apart,” and she looks so convinced of her words that Sergio doesn’t have the heart to tell her that even the thought of not playing for Madrid anymore hurts way more than being apart from Jesús ever will.

But it feels good to not think about football for once, to get spoiled and pampered with his mother’s cooking and he all but forgets about his troubles and worries until one day, just before midnight on New Year’s, she asks him about the possibility of grandchildren and how is he ever supposed to explain to her that he never wanted children until he saw Gerard play with their teammates’ kids on the pitch of the Olympic Stadium in Kiev the night they won the Euros?

*

The news breaks on a regular Wednesday morning. It’s cold and rainy and Sergio is dripping all over his entrance hall when his phone lights up with a news alert and his jaw drops in shock at the headline.

**Corruption Scandal throws Spanish Soulmate Agency into Chaos**

His phone rings before he even has the chance to read the article, the screen lighting up with his brother’s name.

“Have you heard?” Rene’s asks the moment Sergio picks up, his voice panicked and out of breath.

“About the agency?” Sergio drops his bag on the floor and leans against the wall. “What happened?”

“Supposedly they mismatched thousands of people because they never carried out the proper tests. They just randomly assigned two people, so they could pocket the money meant for the tests…”

Sergio doesn’t hear the rest of Rene’s words over the blood rushing in his ears, a sense of foreboding washing over him. “What’s gonna happen now?” he asks eventually, his voice rough and unsteady and he can’t shake the feeling that his life is going to change irrevocably.

“The ministry promised a thorough investigation and they want to inform everyone who has been mismatched,” Rene explains, completely oblivious to the turmoil going on inside Sergio.

“I have to go,” Sergio croaks and hangs up, spends most of the day staring into nothingness. 

He knows he should call Jesús, but he can’t bring himself to.

*

In a way it feels almost anticlimactic when the letter arrives a week later, informing him that Jesús isn’t his soulmate, because somewhere deep down he might have always known.

Jesús shows up on Sergio’s doorstep the next day.

“You always knew, didn’t you?” he asks and Sergio wants to lie but the words get stuck in his throat and no sound comes out.

He nods weakly. “I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“It was just a feeling,” Sergio shrugs helplessly. “Couldn’t really put my finger on it,” he runs his fingers through his hair and he hasn’t felt this close to crying since he broke his arm in 6th grade. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

“You won’t,” Jesús says and awkwardly reaches for Sergio’s hand. “It wasn’t your fault. You did nothing wrong.”

“It wasn’t all bad, you know,” Sergio adds quietly. “I was happy. We had a good thing while it lasted.”

“But not like soulmates are supposed to be,” Jesús says, a finality to his words that makes Sergio’s chest ache.

“Yeah.”

Jesús calls him two weeks later to tell him that he needs a change, that he’s transferring to Manchester and Sergio feels oddly relieved by it.

*  
 _March 2014_

Sergio startles when a balled up napkin hits him in the shin. “You ok?”

He looks up and finds Gerard staring right at him, an expression on his face that looks suspiciously like concern.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” he lies.

“Because you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Gerard says softly and scoots closer and Sergio hates that they’re forced to share a bed once again, that his heart never seems to beat properly when Gerard is around.

“Jesús called,” he confesses, the words tumbling from his lips mostly against his will. 

“And?” Gerard prods gently.

“He found his soulmate a few months ago,” he swallows against the lump in his throat. “They’re going to have a baby.”

“I’m sorry,” Gerard says and reaches for his hand, interlaces their fingers and Sergio has never seen him be this gentle. “I thought you were over him?”

“I am,” Sergio shrugs and he really wishes Gerard’s presence wasn’t so overwhelming, that his skin wasn’t tingling all over just from the chaste touch of their hands. His voice is rough when he finally manages to speak. “We weren’t meant to be and i should be happy for him. I don’t know why i’m being like this.”

“You’re jealous,” Gerard notes and Sergio knows there is no use in lying. Gerard has always been able to read him better than anyone.

“Yeah,” he nods and he can’t help but feel a little selfish. “I felt so relieved after i got the letter, like i was given a second chance, but now i feel even more alone than before,” he finds himself saying and it’s like he has no filter when Gerard is around. He’s painfully aware that they’re still holding hands.

“What did you expect? Hearts and rainbows?” Gerard teases, but there’s no malice behind his words, only understanding in his blue eyes. “You need to give it time. It’s barely been a year since the scandal.”

“I know,” Sergio grins sheepishly. “It’s just, i couldn’t wait to find out who my soulmate was ever since i was little. I never expected it to be this difficult.”

Gerard chuckles softly. “Who knew there was such a hopeless romantic hidden behind all those red cards,” he grins and Sergio can’t help but smile in return and it feels oddly comforting to pour his heart out to Gerard like this.

“You’re an idiot,” he laughs and finally pulls his hand free, trying not to dwell on how much he already misses the contact. “But thank you.”

“Any time.”

*

It’s cold in Norway in March, even when it’s not raining, but they’re all practically dripping when they trudge off the pitch and Sergio already knows it’s going to be one of those nights, where the cold will settle deep in his bones and won’t let him fall asleep for hours. 

Gerard is lying on his bed idling flipping through his phone when Sergio comes out of the shower, still shivering even after putting on his warmest pair of sweatpants and wool socks, even after half an hour under steaming hot water. He crawls into bed and buries his stiff fingers under his pillow and he’s pretty sure his lips still have the same shade of blue that they had after the match.

Gerard looks at him curiously. “I was half afraid you drowned in there.” 

“I’m cold,” Sergio says, tries not to notice how the skin around Gerard’s eyes crinkles when he smiles.

“I can see that. You’re still shivering.”

Sergio shrugs. “My body doesn’t deal well with cold,” he rolls over and tugs the blanket up to his nose, hopes he’ll fall asleep soon. 

He’s not at all prepared for the mattress dipping and Gerard sliding into bed behind him. “What are you doing?” he croaks, acutely aware of Gerard’s chest pressing against his back, of a set of strong arms wrapping around him.

“Just so your chattering teeth won’t keep me awake,” Gerard says and tightens his arms. There’s a teasing lilt to his voice and when Sergio feels Gerard’s lips press against his neck he shivers for a very different reason.

He involuntarily snuggles closer, chasing the warmth of Gerard’s body, already addicted to the heat seeping through his clothes and he can’t suppress the content sigh when he’s suddenly and entirely enveloped by a warmth that sweeps through him in a rush and makes his skin tingle pleasantly all the way down to his toes.

“Thanks,” he mumbles sleepily and he’s asleep before he even hears Gerard’s answer.

The first thing Sergio notices when he wakes up is that their bodies are still entangled, if possible even more so than last night, that Gerard’s breath is hot against his cheek. The second is that he’s rock hard in his sweats and pressing against Gerard’s thigh.

He scrambles out of bed immediately, mortified that Gerard will find him out. 

Later the moment will be seared into his memory forever. His legs tangled in the sheets, his hands stuck in the sleeves of his hoodie and it’s like time stops the moment Gerard blinks his eyes open. His breathing becomes shallow and his hands shake and there’s not a single thought left on his mind, because those eyes - the ones he’s been dreaming of for most of his life - are staring right back at him and how hasn’t he ever noticed before until now?

*

“I need your help,” Sergio blurts out as he storms into his brother’s kitchen.

“Good morning to you, too,” Rene looks up calmly from his newspaper, like his brother didn’t just tear into his house like a hurricane.

“Do you still have your friend at the government lab?” Sergio asks, pacing up and down the room, unable to hold still for more than a second.

“Yes, why?”

“Can they do a soulmate test for me?” he asks, the words fairly tumbling out of his mouth in his haste to get them out. He clutches the small plastic bag with Gerard’s and his own toothbrush tightly against his chest, like it’s his most prized possession.

Rene frowns. “You still trust the agency after everything they’ve done?”

“No. Yes,” Sergio shrugs helplessly. “I don’t know, but i need to know. So can they do it?”

“I’ll see what i can do,” Rene pours himself another cup of coffee and motions for Sergio to sit down. Sergio figures he might as well, before he makes himself dizzy. “You know i need a DNA sample though, right?”

Sergio holds out the see-through bag and Rene’s frown grows even more pronounced. “Do i want to know how you got this?”

Sergio shakes his head. Going through Gerard’s things and stealing the toothbrush from his toiletry bag while he was in the shower was definitely not one of his proudest moments. “Just get it tested please,” he says and maybe he’s not as good at hiding the desperation and urgency in his voice because Rene’s expression suddenly goes soft.

“The second toothbrush is yours. Isn’t it?” he asks tentatively. 

Sergio nods. 

“You really think you found your true soulmate? After all this time?”

“I’m sure of it.”

*

_June 2016_

The letter arrives just as he’s leaving for the airport and because he’s late already and there’s no way he’s going to open something this important surrounded by his nosy teammates he shoves it into his bag and tries to put it out of his mind.

It sits there for the rest the journey, patiently waiting to be opened, while Sergio’s hands are sweaty from nerves and anticipation the entire time.

Unable to wait any longer, he rushes to his room the moment they arrive in France, ignores the curious stares and locks himself in the bathroom.

His fingers tremble as he fumbles with the envelope and when he gets it open, he’s so nervous his eyes can barely focus on the small print. The sheet is filled with tables and countless numbers that mean nothing to him, but when he finally reaches the two words that matter the most, it feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest.

Later he doesn’t remember how long he’s lingered in the bathroom, the edges of the tub digging painfully into his thighs as he tries to fight the smile that’s taken over his entire face.

*

“Have you ever wondered if they messed up your soulmate match, too?” Sergio asks that night, idly flipping through his phone while he pretends he’s not watching Gerard unpack his suitcase. He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about this soulmate thing all day.

“I never got a letter,” Gerard looks up at Sergio, his eyes unreadable. “Guess that’s my answer.”

“Doesn’t have to mean anything,” Sergio shrugs. “Could be just a mix up.” _I know you’re my soulmate_ he wants to say, but even he knows that’s not something you blurt out between shoving your socks into a drawer and brushing your teeth.

“Will you just let it go, please?” Gerard suddenly looks incredibly tired. He sits down at the edge of Sergio’s bed, hands folded in his lap. “I know you’re dying to find your soulmate,” he says, unable to meet his eyes. “But it took me years to make my peace with not having one. I just can’t get my hopes up again.”

Sergio nods, his throat too clogged to speak and he’s suddenly very aware that he’ll have to ease Gerard into this very carefully.

*

But as usual nothing nothing goes according to plan. They crash out of the tournament embarrassingly early, the letter falls out of his bag at the worst possible moment and of course Gerard is there to pick it up before Sergio has even processed what happened and he can only watch helplessly as Gerard’s eyes widen in shock.

“What is this?” he asks, an edge to his voice that Sergio has never heard before.

“I finally found my real soulmate,” he answers, trying not to sound too defensive under Gerard’s impenetrable stare.

“This is an agency document,” Gerard waves the paper around, like it personally offended him and Sergio would laugh about how ridiculous it looks if his heart wasn’t beating so wildly. “How can you even trust them after everything that’s happened?”

“Because i can feel it.”

“So, who is it?” Gerard croaks, a strange edge to his voice.

Sergio squares his shoulders and looks up at Gerard and maybe there is no right time to confess something of this magnitude or maybe this is exactly the moment he’s been waiting for all along, either way there’s no going back now. He clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “It’s you.”

For the longest time Gerard doesn’t say anything, only stares at him with disbelief in his eyes and when he finally does Sergio almost wishes he hadn’t.

“You got me tested behind my back?” There’s so much hostility in his voice that Sergio barely manages not to flinch and maybe it was naive to think he’d be happy about being Sergio’s soulmate. “I can’t do this right now.”

Sergio helplessly stares after him as he grabs his suitcase and storms from the room, his heart cracking at the edges.

They don’t run into each other until it’s time to board the plane home and even then they only see each other in passing, but maybe it’s for the better, Sergio thinks as he falls into his seat and puts his headphones on. He’s not sure he could handle yet another rejection.

*

When Sergio opens his front door early on a Wednesday morning, the sun is too bright to fit his mood and Gerard is the last person he expects to see standing on his doorstep. It's been four weeks since that fateful night when his heart shattered into pieces. "What are you doing here?" he snaps and fights the urge to slam the door in Gerard's face.

"Can we talk?" Gerard runs his fingers through his hair and it's only then that Sergio realizes the dark circles under his eyes, just how exhausted he looks. 

“Not sure there’s anything to talk about,” Sergio crosses his arms in front of his chest. “You’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t want me as your soulmate.” 

“I’m sorry,” Gerard starts, but Sergio is in no mood to let him finish.

“Don’t you think that’s a little too late?” he interrupts, ignoring the pleading tone to Gerard’s voice, ignoring everything about Gerard’s posture that might give him even the tiniest bit of hope because he’s not sure he would ever recover. “It’s been four weeks,” he says accusingly.

“Can i come in anyway?” Gerard pleads and Sergio has half a mind to just let him stand outside until he’ll go away again, but then he caves anyway, because it’s his soulmate looking at him like his world is about to crumble to pieces and he could never deny those blue eyes anything.

“Talk then,” he says and steps aside to let Gerard into the house.

“I know there’s no excuse for how i treated you,” Gerard starts as soon as the door has fallen closed behind them and Sergio has never seen him look this unsure of himself. “ But you caught me completely off guard and i just blanked. I just didn’t know how to react.”

Sergio blinks. “And what am i supposed to do with that?” 

Gerard shrugs helplessly. “I understand we’re soulmates, but how’s that ever supposed to be enough,” he pauses and looks over at Sergio with an almost pleading look in his eyes. “We barely know each other, we play for different clubs, hell, we live in different cities. There’s no chance it’s ever gonna work out between us.”

Sergio takes a shaky breath, wipes his sweaty palms on his pants. “It’s enough _because_ we’re soulmates,” he leans against the wall and looks up at Gerard through tired eyes. “I’ve been dreaming about your eyes since i was five years old. There’s no one else for me but you. Our clubs and rivalries and everything else doesn’t matter. We’re meant to be together,” he swallows against the lump in his throat. “But i get it if you don’t want me. It’s fine. I’ll learn to deal with it and not bother you again,” his voice almost breaks on the last words and he really just wants to be left alone, but Gerard is still there, still looking at him with an intensity that makes him feel raw and exposed.

“Who ever said i don’t want you?” There’s suddenly something frantic about Gerard’s voice, something wild and unpredictable. “You wanna know the truth?” Gerard takes a step forward and they’re suddenly so close Sergio can see every shade of blue in Gerard’s eyes. “I’ve wanted you since the first time i saw you. But you had a soulmate and i felt like the shittiest person in the world for wanting someone i had no business wanting and then you were suddenly free again and i was too afraid to make a move because i knew i was damaged goods and you’d move on from me the second you found your true soulmate and i just couldn’t deal with that,” Gerard finishes with a helpless shrug and it’s suddenly so quiet in the room Sergio is sure Gerard can hear the irregular beating of his heart.

“You’re not damaged goods,” he whispers quietly and he really just wants to reach out and touch him, but Gerard still has that skittish look in his eyes and he doesn’t want to risk spooking him. “You’re my soulmate. We’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Gerard looks lost. “I never thought i’d have a soulmate. I need time to figure things out.”  
Sergio nods, trying to quench the disappointment rising in his chest and it’s maybe not the answer he would have liked to hear, but still so much more than he could have ever hoped for just a few hours ago. “I’ll give you all the time you need,” he answers, reaching out to gently stroke Gerard’s cheek. “I promise i won’t rush you until you’re ready.” 

“Thank you,” Gerard smiles and when his arms wrap around Sergio, pulling him into a tentative hug, it feels like the most natural thing in the world to let his head rest on Gerard’s shoulder, his entire body singing at the contact.

*

In hindsight Sergio should have probably seen it coming, but when Jesús shows up to his mother’s annual barbeque, his son in his arms and a happy smile on his face, his first instinct is still to run and hide. He hasn’t seen him since the scandal broke and even after all those years there’s still that vague feeling of guilt inside of him.

But then his mother shoves a plate at him, his phone pings with a tweet from Gerard and he’s too busy stupidly grinning at his screen to notice Jesús approaching until he’s right next to him.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” he greets, a soft smile on his lips and nothing but warmth in his eyes and it instantly makes Sergio feel at ease.

“It’s good to see you,” he answers, pulling Jesús into a tight hug and there’s not a hint of awkwardness between them as they begin to catch up, like they’ve never drifted apart and their friendship never changed.

“So how have you been?” Jesús asks after a while, after he’s filled in Sergio on every detail of his life since the scandal.

Sergio bites his bottom lip, plays with the label of his beer bottle. “I found my soulmate,” he says eventually, studies Jesús out of the corner of his eye.

“I’m glad,” Jesús smiles at him fondly. “We both deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks,” Sergio nods, feels a blush rise on his cheeks.

“So who is it? Anyone i know?”

Sergio smiles sheepishly. “Promise not to laugh.”

“How bad could it possibly be?” 

“It’s Piqué.”

“I should have known,” Jesús chuckles.

“Huh?”

“You never knew how to deal with him. You always got so flustered when he was around.”

Sergio shrugs and there’s really no use in denying it, not when Gerard has always managed to get under his skin more than anyone else, for better and for worse.

“So how are things between you?” Jesús cocks his head to the side, studies him thoughtfully. “Is it everything you’ve always dreamt of?”

“It’s… We’re not…,” Sergio takes a long pull from his bottle. “We’re not together yet. He needs more time to adjust…,” he makes a vague gesture with his free hand. “It’s complicated.”

Jesús frowns. “I thought you didn’t want complicated.”

“I don’t,” Sergio smiles softly. “but i want him.”

*

There’s always been something about clasicos that’s made them more special than any other match. The atmosphere, the intense pressure, the rivalry, Sergio loves everything about them.

He already feels the excitement prickle under his skin as he rushes down the tunnel, hugging and kissing his teammates as he takes his place in the front of the line and he knows Gerard is somewhere next to him, on the other side of the bars, but he resists the urge to turn and look at him. Today, for the next ninety minutes they’re not going to be soulmates.

They’re almost out of hope when Sergio jogs forward for a corner, jostling with the mass of blaugrana shirts, the stadium holding its breath as his foot connects with the ball, soaring above his head and then there’s nothing but excruciating pain in his shoulder.

When he comes to again, blinking away the dizziness, there’s a crowd of players gathered around him and he knows it’s bad when he sees just as many Barca players with concerned expressions as teammates.

“Did i score?” he grits out through the pain and Messi’s annoyed sneer gives him the answer even before Marcelo and Lucas nod with a laugh. 

“Good,” he forces a smile and cranes his neck to see who else is around, but the one person he wants to see the most is nowhere to be seen.

It’s not the most pleasant feeling in the world, having to lie on a stretcher with doctors prodding at your aching shoulder while your teammates are celebrating an important victory and because Sergio is intently listening to every sound from the other side of the wall, wishing like nothing else that he could be a part of it, he instantly notices when an eery silence falls over the room, only broken by a deep voice.

“Where is he? I need to see him,” and Sergio would recognize that voice anywhere.

He listens with baited breath as the discussion grows more heated and for the longest moment his stomach is churning with fear that they won’t let Gerard see him, that they’ll send him away again, but then finally he appears in the doorway, followed by his very angry looking teammates.

“You can’t be in here,” Isco says from somewhere behind him, but Sergio doesn’t care because Gerard is looking at him with genuine concern shining in his deep blue eyes, still wearing his kits and cleats, like he came straight from the pitch to see him.

“How are ....,” Gerard starts, but Isco won’t let him finish, still insisting that he needs to leave and Sergio loves his teammates, he really does, but sometimes he wishes they’d be less overbearing, less involved in everyone’s business and he’s already trying to figure out how he’ll get them off Gerard’s back and out of the room, when Gerard spins around to glare at Isco.

“No one is going to keep me from seeing my soulmate,” he spits out and that very effectively gets everyone to shut up.

“So what was all that about?” Sergio asks when they’re finally alone in the dressing room, his shoulder properly bandaged and his teammates gone. They’re both sitting on his cot, legs dangling off the side and shoulders almost touching. 

“What do you mean?” Gerard replies, unable to meet Sergio’s gaze.

“You know exactly what i mean,” Sergio says so quietly it’s barely above a whisper.

“It’s just …,” Gerard stuffs his hands between his thighs and Sergio’s never seen him look this timid, this shy. “I didn’t like seeing you injured. It scared me.”

“You know i wasn’t gonna die, right? I just hurt my shoulder,” Sergio smiles softly, bumping into him with his healthy one.

“Why do i even care this much?” Gerard lets out an annoyed huff. “I shouldn’t be thinking about you all the time, especially not when we’re on opposite sides of the pitch,” he sighs. “It doesn’t make any sense.”

Sergio takes a chance then, reaching out for Gerard’s hand and interlacing their fingers. “But you do?” he asks carefully, his heart tripping erratically in his chest.

“I guess so,” Gerard nods, staring down at their joined hands. “So if you still want me,” he continues, finally looking up at Sergio, his voice shaky and his eyes filled with so many emotions it makes Sergio’s breath hitch. “I think I’d really like to give this soulmate thing a try.”

Sergio doesn’t know what to say to that. He stares up into Gerard’s eyes hope and happiness bubbling in his chest, growing and growing until it feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest. “Are you serious?” he asks dumbly and the sound of Gerard’s laughter at that might just be the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard in his life.

“I am,” Gerard grins, one hand coming up to slide around Sergio’s neck, pushing up into his hair and caressing the skin there. “Can i kiss you?”

“Yes,” Sergio nods and then Gerard is tilting his face up and pressing their mouths together and Sergio keeps his eyes open the entire time, not willing to miss even a second of Gerard’s beautiful blue eyes as their lips finally meet, moving softly against each other as Gerard pulls him closer.

*

_Two weeks later…_

Sergio wakes to the sun shining into his face and the smell of coffee tickling his nose and he hasn’t felt this content in a very long time. Smiling happily he rolls over, but when he finds the bed empty, the sheets already cold he can’t quell the uneasy feeling settling in the pit of his stomach and he knows while for him the last two weeks have been nothing short of wonderful, it hasn’t always been that easy for Gerard. 

They’ve had their fair share of fights about Sergio’s impatience and Gerard’s inability to open up and now as he slips into his clothes and hurries down the stairs he can’t help but fear that Gerard might have run out on him after all.

He eventually finds him in the stables, carefully petting Yucatan, wearing one of Sergio’s favorite shirts, his hair still a sleep-tousled mess and the sight instantly soothes Sergio’s racing heart.

“What are you doing out here?” he asks as he approaches him, the gravel crunching softly under his bare feet.

“Making new friends,” Gerard grins, reaching out to tug Sergio against his side, arm winding around his waist. “I figured we’ll be spending a lot of time down here from now on, so i might as well get them to like me.”

“You should have brought carrots then,” Sergio chuckles and leans his head against Gerard’s chest, breathes in deep. “You know, for a second i thought you had left,” he confesses quietly.

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Gerard presses a kiss into Sergio’s hair, tightens his arms around him. “I’m sorry, for what i put you through, but you’re mine now and I’m not letting you go ever again.”

“You might end up changing your mind about that,” Sergio laughs, but there’s a happy warmth spreading through him as he snuggles deeper into Gerard’s embrace. “We better introduce you to the other horses then,” he grins.

“All of them?” Gerard groans.

“Yes, all of them and you better remember all of their names too,” Sergio teases and takes Gerard’s hand, the now familiar tingle spreading through him, a feeling of utter rightness settling inside of him.

**Author's Note:**

> I live for Kudos and Comments. Don't be shy, i usually don't bite ;)


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